Supporting a Loved One with PTSD
When someone you care about is living with PTSD, you can feel both deeply motivated to help and unsure of how to do it. PTSD isn’t just about “big” traumas or dramatic flashbacks; it often shows up in everyday moments. Irritability that comes out of nowhere, trouble sleeping, withdrawing from people, jumpiness, or difficulty concentrating. These symptoms can affect relationships in ways that feel confusing or personal when they aren’t.
PTSD is the nervous system stuck in “protect” mode. Your loved one isn’t choosing these reactions; they’re having responses shaped by past danger. Understanding this helps you shift from “Why are they acting like this?” to “Their body thinks it’s not safe right now.”
You don’t have to memorize neuroscience. Just remember: trauma responses are automatic, not intentional.
People with PTSD often want connection but feel overwhelmed by pressure. Follow their pace, open the door (“I’m here if you ever want to talk, no pressure”) and let them decide when to walk through it.
You don’t have to fix what happened. You don’t need the perfect words. Often, the most supportive thing you can say is:
“I believe you. I care about you. You’re not a burden.”
Triggers aren’t always obvious. A tone of voice, a crowded space, a smell, a news story, any of these can send the nervous system into alert. Ask if they’re comfortable sharing patterns they’ve noticed. If they are, you can work together to navigate situations in a way that feels safer for them.
Offer practical support. PTSD can make day-to-day tasks harder. Small things can have a huge impact:
Helping with appointments
Offering to drive or accompany them to stressful places
Being the one who handles logistics when they’re overwhelmed
Creating predictable routines together
When you’re not sure what they need, ask: “What would feel supportive today?”
Encourage professional help without pushing. Therapy, especially trauma-focused approaches like EMDR or somatic therapies, can be life-changing. A simple “If you ever want help finding someone, I’m here” is enough. Your role isn’t to be their therapist. It’s to be their person.
Healing from PTSD is not linear. Good days don’t mean it’s gone, and hard days don’t mean progress is lost. Consistency is what helps: steady presence, calm communication, and compassion that doesn’t hinge on symptoms. Supporting someone with PTSD isn’t about saying the perfect thing; it’s about offering steadiness in a world that feels unpredictable to them.
